To Choose Love or To Obey? Recap on Skinny Girl in Transit (SGIT) S5E6


Shalewa, Shalewa. How many times did I call your name? When something happens in a relationship, you don’t just run off without talking about it. Even if you end up leaving, still talk about everything and listen to the other party. Talk about what happened, how it made you feel, and what decisions you would like to make going forward. Otherwise, you make assumptions and leave the other party guessing, and both of these lead to what? A disaster.

Shalewa and Mohammed. I empathized with Shalewa in the last episode, but chose to watch this episode through Mohammed’s lens. He’s stuck between choosing love and obeying his family. It’s tough, but it’s pretty common for many Nigerians because of “culture” and “tradition”. It’s the reason why we could all relate with Simi’s “love don’t care” song. Because our parents are well-meaning, they don’t want us to marry someone whose pockets are not as deep as ours so we don’t struggle financially; or who is from a different tribe, so we minimize the challenges in our marriage; or who has a physical disability, so we are not stressed out caring for a partner; or in my case, whose genotype has the sickle cell trait just like mine, so I don’t bear a sick child. Their intent is usually good, so there’s a war within us – to choose love or to obey?

I wish the answer were simple, then it would have saved me the rivers of tears I cried, or the library full of books I read that left me even more confused, or the numerous counseling sessions I attended. I learned however, that may not be the right question to ask. Perhaps the better question is – what is God’s will for me concerning this? Seeking God’s will is a whole topic on it’s own that I can’t do justice to in this little post. You’d be surprised to find out, if we truly seek His will, that it just may be none of the options we had in mind. I hope that Shalewa and Mohammed somehow end up at that counselor’s office because the elephant in front of them is much bigger than they think.

The way Shalewa was gallivanting around town, I don’t think she recognizes how tough a spot Mohammed is in, and how she can’t fault him for it. I’d only fault him for not saying something sooner and for making Shalewa find out about his betrothed wife the way she did. Anyway, I couldn’t help but wonder about that dude Shalewa met at the bar – are there really women who fall for his type? Or maybe I’ve just been out of the dating game too long. How has it gone so quickly from “can I buy you dinner next weekend?” to “can I fly you to Dubai next weekend?”

Iya Tiwa and Iya Mide. They are like humans from different planets trying to work together to plan a wedding. I sense a disaster about to happen. I can relate more with Iya Mide and her taste and planning style, but I think many Nigerian weddings and parties are really more like Iya Tiwa’s style. You know, just cook and cook and cook a storm, and buy all the drinks possible, and order as many wedding favors as the factory can possibly produce because the true sign of a successful Nigerian party is not knowing what to do with leftovers after people have stuffed their faces with all the food possible. Can this all be avoided by having a guest list and a plan? Yes. But do we do it? No, because eeerrr we are Nigerians d’uh. I mean, I kinda get why we do it. We have a good sense of community, everyone is your “brother” or “sister”, and so everyone is invited to your events. I kinda sorta get it, but there has to be some ground for moderation because my God does not like waste.

Tiwa and Mide. Guys, I may be biased by Mide’s sweet talk, but I think he is a keeper. I could feel his genuine apology for hurting Tiwa and for bringing up Fabrice in their argument. He even put himself in Tiwa’s shoes and imagined what he’d have done if the tables were turned. Good relationships consider others and not just themselves. Selflessness is an admirable trait. Although he should have told Tiwa before he made the decision to travel to London sha. Why do I feel like something will happen with Theresa when Mide gets there?

Derin and Chris. Derin was being Derin as always. Ejo, script writers, it’s starting to get more annoying each episode. Can we break into her already? Is there a point to her nasty personality or is she just there to be you know, annoying? Chris, AKA oga Kenya, seems to be handling her well. He always has the perfect come back for her, and then when he speaks his language, Father Lord, it’s just sweet one kain sha.

Wosilat and Jago. Thank God for that “Pastor’s” vision. Wosilat is finally demanding respect from Jago. Like why does he talk to her like that and grab her anyhow? Am I the only one he irritates?

Finally, the cliffhanger – Tiwa ti take-in! (Tiwa is pregnant?). I’m going to save my words until we find out for real in a subsequent episode.

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4 thoughts on “To Choose Love or To Obey? Recap on Skinny Girl in Transit (SGIT) S5E6

  1. Amen with relating to “love don’t care” and it’s true, the heart is blind as I don’t know what, but most times our parents are trying to save us from the stress they see such situations can cause. And they can see it more clearly cos they are not looking through the rose colored lenses of love. On some level, we do this ourselves, when we find out info about a fella come aknocking and we don’t give him time if we know that thing will stress us. But still it can get past our defenses and we’re helpless to it. Give in (and deal with the consequences) or be heartbroken (and deal with the consequences). (To keep things PG: darned if I do, darned if I don’t). No real point to my post, other than a little venting 😀

    • haha vent on dear friend! It’s a delicate spot to be in, and we have to handle it with wisdom and guidance from God. There are pros and cons either way, but somehow there’s a certain peace you feel when you know you’ve made the right decision.

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