Do you have that one random thing that you really want to do, but have held back doing for whatever reason? You’re not alone. There are 6 things that I really want to do, but somehow, I have not done them, and I really don’t know if I ever will. I think my reasons are legitimate, but I’ll let you be the judge when you see my list. Let’s dive right in.
1. Getting a tiny little nose ring. I think it’s the cutest thing, and it will enhance my shakara game. But the thing is eh, I just don’t like pain. And then what if I get an infection? Or what if my baby yanks it out from curiosity? Do you now understand why I still haven’t pierced my nose, and probably never will?
2. Quitting my job and starting a location-based business. I’m not talking about a side hustle. I’m talking a be-all-in “go to the shop and open up every morning” type of business, like an African restaurant, or a daycare center, or a food truck with orisirisi ijekuje delicacies, or an African store that is done with excellence and doesn’t actually have the popular African store smell (if you know, you know).
I can’t even imagine the sense of fulfillment this will bring. The problem is, I will miss my guaranteed paycheck. A lot. Plus there’s the risk involved, knowing that it will take a while for the business to become profitable, and my offspring have still gats to eat.
3. Coloring my hair. Red, brown, gold, copper, wine…I just love it all! My fear though is that I’ll wake up the next morning to find all my hair on the floor because of the effects of the chemicals. Real tears will I shed. Dramatic much? Yes, I know, it’s “just” hair, but I love long hair, and did I already mention that I like to do shakara? Also, after my many years transitioning from relaxed hair, I’m not going back to start from ground zero. If I end up coloring my hair though, you all already know you cannot talk to me anyhow (in the voice of Chizi Duru).
4. Getting a nanny. I’ve finally come to the realization that I don’t get any awards for being superwoman. But will I humble myself and get help by hiring a live-in nanny? I really don’t know.
For many reasons – a) I struggle with accepting that I need help, b) I like things done a certain way so I don’t know how to just let go, c) I like the sense of privacy and intimacy in my family, d) I really don’t want to worry about feeding an extra human; I’m already legit struggling with cooking for my little family, and cereal night happens once a week (judge me not), and e) there are too many horror stories out there of nannies doing crazy things.
So I justify my decision to not get a nanny by saying “it is better to endure and make sure that my kids are safe,” but deep down, I know it’s just a convenient excuse for me not to let go and accept help.
5. Learning how to swim. I know it’s a basic life-saving skill. However, I almost drowned in a pool when I was a kid, and that experience traumatized me. I don’t even remember how old I was. All I know was that I thought I was going to die right there and then, until my brother grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the water. I had fallen off the flotation device I was sitting on, and I tried to yell “MOMMY!”, except no words came out, just water gushed into my mouth. That was when I knew it was a wrap. Thank God that was not the end of my story.
It also doesn’t help that my husband had a near-drowning experience when he fell off a kayak, shortly after I met him; difference was that he swam to save his life until someone found him. I already know what you’re about to say – these experiences should have motivated me to learn how to swim. Trust me, it makes common sense in theory, but here I am, still unable to swim.
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6. Eating Amala. True story – when I was a kid, my siblings and I watched a movie where people were dying from eating amala. The next day, mom made amala for dinner and the association of us four siblings revolted because who wan die? Mom was confused as none other that day, and believe it or not, that was the end of my amala eating. Now I watch all these tormenting YouTube videos of piping hot silky smooth amala in a pool of gbegiri and stew that makes babanla sense, and I salivate virtually, but will I actually eat it? No.
I hope you enjoyed this “get to know me” post. The good news is that this list used to be longer, but I’ve overcome my fear of many things because #doitafraid. I want to challenge myself to learn how to swim this summer so I can cross that off this list. What is one thing that you’ve always wanted to do but managed to talk yourself out of?
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