Why You Won’t Catch Me Eating Amala + 5 Other Things I’m Currently Afraid To Do

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Simple Naija Girl happy in the snow

Do you have that one random thing that you really want to do, but have held back doing for whatever reason? You’re not alone. There are 6 things that I really want to do, but somehow, I have not done them, and I really don’t know if I ever will. I think my reasons are legitimate, but I’ll let you be the judge when you see my list. Let’s dive right in.

1. Getting a tiny little nose ring. I think it’s the cutest thing, and it will enhance my shakara game. But the thing is eh, I just don’t like pain. And then what if I get an infection? Or what if my baby yanks it out from curiosity? Do you now understand why I still haven’t pierced my nose, and probably never will?

2. Quitting my job and starting a location-based business. I’m not talking about a side hustle. I’m talking a be-all-in “go to the shop and open up every morning” type of business, like an African restaurant, or a daycare center, or a food truck with orisirisi ijekuje delicacies, or an African store that is done with excellence and doesn’t actually have the popular African store smell (if you know, you know).

I can’t even imagine the sense of fulfillment this will bring. The problem is, I will miss my guaranteed paycheck. A lot. Plus there’s the risk involved, knowing that it will take a while for the business to become profitable, and my offspring have still gats to eat.

Simple Naija Girl hair color
Temporary hair color. It all came off on hair wash day.

3. Coloring my hair. Red, brown, gold, copper, wine…I just love it all! My fear though is that I’ll wake up the next morning to find all my hair on the floor because of the effects of the chemicals. Real tears will I shed. Dramatic much? Yes, I know, it’s “just” hair, but I love long hair, and did I already mention that I like to do shakara? Also, after my many years transitioning from relaxed hair, I’m not going back to start from ground zero. If I end up coloring my hair though, you all already know you cannot talk to me anyhow (in the voice of Chizi Duru).

4. Getting a nanny. I’ve finally come to the realization that I don’t get any awards for being superwoman. But will I humble myself and get help by hiring a live-in nanny? I really don’t know.

For many reasons – a) I struggle with accepting that I need help, b) I like things done a certain way so I don’t know how to just let go, c) I like the sense of privacy and intimacy in my family, d) I really don’t want to worry about feeding an extra human; I’m already legit struggling with cooking for my little family, and cereal night happens once a week (judge me not), and e) there are too many horror stories out there of nannies doing crazy things.

So I justify my decision to not get a nanny by saying “it is better to endure and make sure that my kids are safe,” but deep down, I know it’s just a convenient excuse for me not to let go and accept help.

5. Learning how to swim. I know it’s a basic life-saving skill. However, I almost drowned in a pool when I was a kid, and that experience traumatized me. I don’t even remember how old I was. All I know was that I thought I was going to die right there and then, until my brother grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the water. I had fallen off the flotation device I was sitting on, and I tried to yell “MOMMY!”, except no words came out, just water gushed into my mouth. That was when I knew it was a wrap. Thank God that was not the end of my story.

It also doesn’t help that my husband had a near-drowning experience when he fell off a kayak, shortly after I met him; difference was that he swam to save his life until someone found him. I already know what you’re about to say – these experiences should have motivated me to learn how to swim. Trust me, it makes common sense in theory, but here I am, still unable to swim.

Video length – 9secs

6. Eating Amala. True story – when I was a kid, my siblings and I watched a movie where people were dying from eating amala. The next day, mom made amala for dinner and the association of us four siblings revolted because who wan die? Mom was confused as none other that day, and believe it or not, that was the end of my amala eating. Now I watch all these tormenting YouTube videos of piping hot silky smooth amala in a pool of gbegiri and stew that makes babanla sense, and I salivate virtually, but will I actually eat it? No.

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I hope you enjoyed this “get to know me” post. The good news is that this list used to be longer, but I’ve overcome my fear of many things because #doitafraid. I want to challenge myself to learn how to swim this summer so I can cross that off this list. What is one thing that you’ve always wanted to do but managed to talk yourself out of?

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31 thoughts on “Why You Won’t Catch Me Eating Amala + 5 Other Things I’m Currently Afraid To Do

  1. Hiya! Get a tiny nose ring!!! Number 2 – Oya, do it!!! Lol, I’m just going to say do it for all of the numbers! The live in nanny one can be quite scary though but nanny cams all the time and maybe she can cook her own food? I also almost drowned, sigh. Try Amala! You can just spit it out if you don’t like it. Great list.

  2. 1- get it! Really like 2 secs of pain
    2 -no advice
    3- don’t do it! I did it and was super vigilant about deep conditioning etc, yet all my hair fell out over the next 2 years. Temporary color it is.
    4- no advice
    5- there are instructors that work with folks who have had a similar experience. Do it not only for yourself but also for your kids. What if you had to save them.
    6- I still don’t understand. Amala and gbegiri is like the best meal out there.

  3. You’re a weirdo… Lol. Very funny post. However, one thing you didn’t talk about is why you live rice so much and can eat it in different ways.

  4. I really enjoyed this post, it was really funny and interesting. I totally relate with #1. As i type this, I can’t find my earrings thanks to my baby who keeps yanking them off. So imagine a nose ring… it’s pretty but hell no!
    And Nanny? I’ll definitely pass.

  5. Nwanne,
    This was hilarious! I can also tell you are low risk!

    1: after my dad passed away, i told myself that you only live once. As Arianna Grande said “If I want, I got it”. If you don’t like it, then take out the nose ring and it will heal. You won’t get infected if you take care of it. Unless it’s a hoop, you won’t snag it on your blouse.

    2: make a great business plan. Get a partner and don’t quit your job until it gets off the ground.

    3: Nope. I learned the hard way. Some people’s strands are stronger than others. Mine can’t withstand sh*t. So it broke everywhere. It wasn’t worth it.
    Next I tried temporary color. Well i sweat when I sleep so guess what? My pillow case, headrest in my car, couch all had magenta spots. Had me out here feeling like Soul Glo in Coming to America.

    4: the nanny is helpful. You can control their hours. My kids are older and can fend for themselves somewhat. I need help getting them to basketball, baseball practice etc.
    I just don’t believe in getting a young cute girl looking to land my husband. I trust my husband but my grandma said a wise woman doesn’t leave a steak in front of a dog and not expect him to take a bite at some point. (🤷🏽‍♀️)
    My nanny is a grandma who is retired, her kids live in Atlanta with their grandkids and she just wants something to do.

    5: you may need to save your kids lives One day. Don’t do it for yourself, do it for them. It is a life skill. I know CPR and hope to never use that skill. But I know it.

    6- I have never tried Amala. Never had an opportunity. But I just made my husband ukazi soup. He acts like if he doesn’t eat garri, that he will just waste away. SMH.

    • Thank you for the thoughtful comment! I would say that I take carefully calculated risks lol.

      1: So sorry to hear about your dad’s passing! After I published this post, I’ve received stories from friends who’s piercings went wrong, and they have successfully shaken the nose ring fever out of my body. So for now, mo wa alright…may change later.

      2: Yes, I’m doing that right now, though not for a location-based type business.

      3: Hahaha thankfully the temp color worked fine for me.

      4: True and wise point.

      5: Agreed. You all have given me courage.

      6: LOL

  6. I also don’t like the idea of having nannies, one almost killed my cousin by not giving him adequate medicine.
    My child’s upbringing will be done by my wife and I. No 3rd parties allowed!

    • Are you talking about a live-in nanny? I guess it depends on your kids ages. My kids were in daycare until they got to elementary school and started having extra curricular activities that needed someone to drive them.

      Now, i don’t need them like that and my children are older. So i hired a nanny who picks up my kids after school at 4pm, my kids eat at home, then she takes them to basketball practice (Gymanstics for my daughter) but I meet them there or my Husband. I just can’t get home by 5pm and need a couple of hours help. My 8yr old can make a chicken sandwich, warm jellof rice and feed himself. So can my 10 and 12 yr olds.
      I didn’t do nanny for infants/toddlers. Daycare system for them used to waiting in line and sharing attention of the caregivers. I was happy with my daycare.

      • Yes, I was referring to a live-in nanny. My kids are very young – a toddler and an infant, and hubby works almost two hours away from home, so heads out early and returns late. That means it’s me and the Lord Jesus with the kids during the week.

        Also because I’m working on side gigs, it would help to have someone help with the kids so I can be more productive.

      • That I properly understand because of the situation. As for the nannies, I’m talking of the real traditional ones that will stay with you and eat your food.
        Sometimes they’re distant relatives or otherwise.
        I’m not in full support of nannies raising my kids especially the ones that will stay glued to the television watching African Magic from morning to night.

  7. reading #4 makes we want to call my nanny now to find out how my toddler is doing. it took me 8 months to trust her and follow my gut that all will be alright if hubs and I left her for a few hours. When she starts school, I figured I am also putting her in someone else’s care except I want to home school them. lol My nanny once told me I’d die if I eat eba on its own with no stew or okro. I cried and ran to tell my grandma but I still eat it well. The yellow one is my fav. Lovely read.

  8. Lol. Pele o. Amala is forever bae, even if I get to eat it once in a blue moon.

    As for nannies, all I can say is I miss the one we had who eventually became family. She came a year before I was born and finally left the year I went to uni. She passed away 3 years later. Her kind only exists in heaven. I pray God sends you one, if you so desire.

  9. I don’t think there are much things out there that I love doing and just won’t do them or maybe I have not really figured them out yet. Although I am very sure of one which is ‘traveling’, I’m really going to take my time and figure out the rest. I love traveling, the feeling of being in a moving vehicle for a very long period of time coupled with sitting just on the window seat and watching all the grasses move backwards with same speed as the vehicle when they actually are not moving.. Lol. Did I forget to mention having headphones on? That feeling is out of this world!
    But then , I still do not feel comfortable about this. If there was a way to avoid traveling , I’d have avoided it completely but I won’t teleport my self to school and to my village you know. Every other event that calls for traveling, I actually do my best to avoid them. I feel very insecure cause I fear accidents, It finally came out, phew!!!
    I scream whenever we have to overtake another vehicle, I feel like accident must happen if we do. I’ll make a very terrible driver to start with😂
    I’ve not tried other means of transportation to know where this phobia is coming from and I look forward to the day I will so I could tell another different story.

    • I could see where that fear may be coming from. There are tons of tragic stories of things that have happened on naija roads, and driving in Lagos is not for the faint-hearted (if that’s where you live). But living in fear doesn’t prevent anything from happening. Pray about it, and try to distract yourself when you are in a car…read a book, close your eyes, etc.

  10. Reading your post was very interesting! I almost got drowned too in High school, thank God for my oyinbo friend 😀 Now i look at the depth of the water and compare it with my height before jumping in. You need to try Amala, you are really missing 😀

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